Sex & Marriage Advice

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What a beautiful story… Kevin Skinner!

He’s humble, genuine, and incredibly talented!

GO KEVIN!

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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To reminisce is to live again... Today I dreamt of you...

Life is short!

Enjoy it while you can!

Snapshots of paradise...

Paraty - RJ - Brazil

Cabo Frio - RJ - Brazil

Paraty - RJ - Brazil

Paraty - RJ - Brazil

Niteroi - RJ - Brazil
Niteroi - RJ - Brazil
Niteroi - RJ - Brazil

Buzios - RJ - Brazil

Buzios - RJ - Brazil


Buzios - RJ - Brazil

Buzios - RJ - Brazil

Buzios - RJ - Brazil

Cabo Frio - RJ - Brazil

Cabo Frio - RJ - Brazil

Cabo Frio - RJ - Brazil

Cabo Frio - RJ - Brazil

Cabo Frio - RJ - Brazil

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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The best burger in the world! Even if I have to run 100 miles to burn it off…

OMG! It’s incredible how the taste of certain foods can actually take you back to a moment in time. I just had the most scrumptious sandwich that took me away back when I was growing up. The Brazilian famous X-Tudo, which could be translated as the “cheese everything.” The sandwich is basically a cheeseburger with everything in it: fresh buns, hamburger, cheese, fried egg, ham, bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, onion, ketchup, mustard, and mayo. Don’t ask me how many calories this baby can load up… I don’t really want to know, since I just eat one. The term X-Tudo comes from the word cheeseburger, and since the ch in Portuguese sounds like a sh in English, when pronounced with the Brazilian twang it sounds a lot like the letter x (xis). Well, earlier this evening “my sistah from another mistah” and I just went out for a stroll and bought all the ingredients for the “Everything Burger.” I haven’t had one of those in quite a few years. Wow! I just stuffed myself with a load of memories from childhood. The first bite took me straight back to a kiosk at the beach… What a feeling! Thanks for driving me around tonight, Rob! You have to try one next time…
XOXOXO!!!

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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The love story of Ralph and Edna...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.' Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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Fifth World Conference On Women – “An idea with widespread support…”

Fifteen years after the Beijing Fourth World Conference on Women, it’s time to get together again and reevaluate the issues affecting women today...

DAW – Division for the Advancement of Women
5WCW - Fifth World Conference on Women
Get Involved - Do your part!

First World Conference of the International Women's Year
Mexico City (19 June to 2 July 1975)

Second World Conference of the United Nations Decade for Women: Quality, Development and Peace
Copenhagen (14 to 30 July 1980)

Third World Conference to review and appraise the achievements of the United Nations Decade for Women: Quality, Development and Peace
Nairobi (15 to 26 July 1985)

Fourth World Conference on Women - Beijing, China - September 1995
Action for Equality, Development and Peace
Beijing Declaration and Platform for Action.

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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Violence against women – Let’s get together and roar: “NO MORE!”

You can close your eyes and pretend that it doesn’t exist, or there are better and more fun things to do with your reading time… But it’s all here staring at our faces. Tomorrow it could be you, your mother, your sister, your daughter, or someone you grew to care for. Global awareness and the power of education are some of the keys…
(Darned… This crap pisses me off.)

"Around the world at least one woman in every three has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family."

"Physical violence is estimated to occur in 4 to 6 million intimate relationships each year in the United States."

"Nearly one in every three adult women experiences at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood. Approximately four million American women experience a serious assault by an intimate partner during a 12-month period."

Afghanistan - Gulbar - Burnt by her husband





USA


Korea


Liberia - West Africa

Guatemala

Saudi Arabia

Brazil

“What does it take to get someone talking about domestic violence?
A picture of a celebrity with fake bruises may seem like a cheap trick but at least you noticed her. The thing is, real victims rarely show their bruises, or indeed their emotional scars. All too often they don't even admit that there is a problem. But domestic abuse is not something that should be kept quiet.” Which is why we want you to act now:

A - Admit its a problem
C - Call it by its name - domestic violence
T - Talk to someone

UK Domestic Violence Campaign

UK Domestic Violence Campaign

UK Domestic Violence Campaign

National Domestic Violence Hotline

1800 - 799-SAFE

Cranky Blogger.

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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Women's rights...

I woke up this morning and one of the articles in my mail box dealt with women’s rights in Pakistan. This is one of those “touchy” subjects, because the truth of the fact is, I don’t really give a damn what religion people follow, or how beautiful the religion is supposed to be, but men screwed it up and carried it out the wrong way, (or any other crappy excuse…) When it violates human rights, there’s no excuse, period. When you see women stating that they were gang raped to settle some bullshit family dispute, had their first born basically murdered because the in-laws made the decision not to send her to the hospital, or had some SOB pouring acid all over their faces, one cannot help wonder, “WTF is this?” “What in the hell is wrong with this world?” And last, but not least, “Damn… I’m lucky I wasn’t born there!” And let’s not even go on a different tangent, and get into cutting off female genitalia, or having young boys drinking sperm out of old farts… It’s too early in the morning for that … So before anyone has a conniption over this, this is my thought. If your religion is not killing anyone, or violating anyone’s rights to be, carry on and light up your candles. If the excuse is that “people” over the years distorted your religion and they are now going around raping women or doing any other zealot nonsense, light up some candles again, do some serious praying, and change that situation… What’s not right is seeing human beings being treated inhumanly for the sake of any religion.

That will do!

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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Those darned immigrants...

My best friend sent me a joke not too long ago that reminded me about the HBO special of one of my favorite comedians, George Lopez - “Tall, Dark & Chicano.” Since humor doesn’t allow anybody to feel left out, here we go…

My friend's joke:

“A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says: __ Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education! The passerby says:
__ You are mistaken, I am a Mexican.
The man goes on and encounters another passerby.
__Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America. The person says:
__I not American, I Vietnamese. The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says:

__ Thank you for wonderful America! That person puts up his hand and says:
__ I am from Middle East. I am not American. He finally sees a nice lady and asks:

__ Are you an American? She says:

__ No, I am from Africa. Puzzled, he asks her:

__ Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says:

__ Probably at work."

Now here's the comical truth. From the HBO Special – Tall, Dark and Chicano - George Lopez.

“Tell your kids that they can be whatever they want to be, as long as they set their mind to it. They can become president of United States; they can become a Supreme Court Justice. It’s been done! There are a lot of Latinos out there. And the Republicans, I’d be a little afraid, you know... I’d be a little afraid to not have our vote. You need our vote, yet you want to get rid of us out of this country. When hotel rooms can clean themselves... when food can cook itself... and crops can pick themselves... when little white babies can raise themselves... Then maybe we'll leave this country. Maybe! But until you start doing shit for yourselves, the only question you need to ask yourself is, what can brown do for you? ”

“… We do all the work that nobody else wants to do. If an immigrant is taking your job, then you got a fucked up job. ‘What happened Scott? Well, I was selling flowers on the side of the freeway, until Ramon (or Consuelo) came; I was making $13.00, $14.00 a month, and that son of a bitch..."

“We do all the things that no one else wants to do.”

“When you want a wall built in the middle of the summer, and you want to build fast, and you want to build cheap, and you want to build without a permit… Who do you call?”

“When you want to go back to work, because you had a baby and you want resume your brilliant career. But you want to bring someone into the house, to care for that young child, while you can go on with your career and someone can nurture and practically raise your child for you, and you want it done for $3.00 hour, who do you call?”

“We are not going back to Mexico. Those 12 million people are not going back to Mexico, so let’s forget that argument right now. We are not going back to Mexico, but I’ll make you a deal… On the Mayflower, the original illegal aliens came to the United States. There were people already here when the Mayflower landed. We’ll go back to Mexico and we’ll rebuild the Mayflower and send 12 million of the ancestors of the original illegal aliens back to Great Britain… We go, you go! ‘I got pilatis, that’s not gonna work.’ Because we can build the Mayflower like that,” he snaps. We don’t even need hammers. We’ll use our heels."

That will do!

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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Quotes of the day...

"The easiest thing in the world is to be you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position." - Leo Buscaglia

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." - Albert Einstein

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever" - Mahatma Gandhi

"Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere..." - Jim Steinman

“It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.” - Confucious

"If a man does not know to what port he is steering, no wind is favorable to him." - Seneca

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” - Confucious

"It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts." - Millard Fuller

"... And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, drink in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO....HOO...What a ride."

“Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them, and you have found a lover for life.” - Leo Buscaglia

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“Immature love says: I love you because I need you. Mature love says: I need you because I love you." - Erich Fromm

"One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain." - Bob Marley

“No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys.” - Doug Horton

"10% of life is what happens to you, and 90% is your attitude towards that."

“Although no one can go back in time and create a new beginning, anyone can begin now and create a new ending.” – Chico Xavier

"Immature Love Says " I Love You Because I Need You". Mature Love Says " I Need You Because I Love You" - Erich Fromm

"People always think they know what truth is, like it was toilet paper and they've got a supply of it in their closet. But what you learn as you get older is that there is no truth... There's only bullshit. Layers of it. One layer of bullshit on top of another... And what you do in life is pick the layer of bullshit you prefer, and that's your bullshit." - Bernie LaPlante (Dustin Hoffman) from the movie The Hero.

"Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right." - Woody Allen

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

♠ Peace! ♠

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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Wake up people! The opposite of love is not hate...

I have always enjoyed collecting quotes. Some of them hit to the core, and depending on the life situation you may be experiencing, they can be very insightful and inspiring. I’ll get to one of these quotes soon enough. One of the words that always intrigued me is the word “disregard.” According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary the definition of disregard is “to pay no attention to; to treat as unworthy of regard or notice; synonym, neglect. Over the years, this word has always puzzled me a great deal, not only because it demonstrates how emotionless a human being can actually be, but also because I could never understand why some people manage to coexist in a common social group, claim to love it, yet display a completely dismissive & ‘brush-off’ attitude, with a total lack of care & sympathy. It’s amazing how discrepancies between actions and words are so brutally evident. So does it mean their “medial insula and anterior cingulate” is basically fuc*&^$ up? Does it mean they have an antisocial personality and linger around to feed off other people’s pain?

I personally believe that the only plausible explanation lies in the brain. Yeah… That ugly, nasty looking sponge! Some screws must be severely missing when people simply don’t give a crap for things they claim are important to them. Think about this for a moment. Isn’t the whole premise of love based on caring for the object of your affection? Shouldn't the possibility of losing such an object cause some sort human effect? I’m telling you… Some people are just plain darned cold, which brings me to the epiphany of the day. Analyzing certain situations around my neck of the woods, suddenly this quote I'm about to write made a lot more sense to me, and stood out like a sore thumb. Pooft! I was laying in bed thinking and it popped up! Just like a light at the end of the tunnel. Just like the total cancer remission after a long chemotherapy treatment, or a sudden realization that you’re wasting your life’s energy on the wrong bulb. Leo Buscaglia was right all along: “The opposite of love is not hate, it's apathy. It's not giving a damn. If somebody hates me, they must feel something about me or they couldn't possibly hate.” Sleep on it! Think about it! Hypothetically speaking, if you are not getting the time of day from someone who supposedly loves you; if someone is brushing you off like pee on the toilet seat of a truck stop, if the things that are important to you mean ‘jack’ to your ‘honey bun,’ there might be a strong possibility that your little ‘schnukums’ is totally indifferent to your oblivious guts, or you are severely delusional.

So here’s my thought, and this is not by any means a piece of advice. If advice were that great, people would be selling it on street corners. Just take it as another “biatching” session.

* Don’t put up with people that don't care about you;

* If it’s not a two way street, you might consider taking a detour. It will get you "there" more effectively, if you are safe and smart, it's hassle free, and no one needs to know; (This quote should've ended on “detour”).

* Life is really short. Really! It’s not just a cliché. Don’t waste your precious life on things and people that are not worth your time. A few years down the road, when you look in the mirror and see a prune, you’ll regret it.

* If you ever did anything, or hung out with people that made you smile, try to recreate that moment and do it again. Laughter lowers the blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, increases muscle flexion, and boosts immune function by raising levels of infection-fighting T-cells, disease-fighting proteins called Gamma-interferon, and B-cells. If you didn’t understand all that medical bullshit, do it anyway. It’s fun and it’ll bring you great moments of happiness;

* There’s no such thing as a "state of happiness." What we really experience can be defined as "moments of happiness." When they come, don’t shy away from it. Enjoy every ounce of it like a martini after a bad date;

* Surround yourself by people that bring you up. Take a rain check on those who put you down;

* Pick your battles carefully. There are some battles worth fighting for, others merely waste of time and effort;

* Value your parents. Cherish them like a precious jewel. That’s the only true unconditional love you’ll ever find;

* Raise your children well. They might come back to take care of your old shriveled self, or make enough money to dump you on a "Five Star DW2DWU” facility;

* If you are suffering from HWD, hug someone, even if you have to fly across the ocean. It will recharge your batteries;

* Don’t try to figure out every single thing in this world. One lifetime is not enough to grasp nature around us. Think of it as a gargantuan Nuthouse. If you are a Religious Nut, send me a ticket to visit you when you reach Nirvana;

* Make time for yourself. Find a hobby. Travel! Enjoy some of the simple things in life, like reading a book, watching the sunset, playing in the snow, making love, skinny dipping, drinking a cold beer at the beach on a hot day, or party with your friends all night long… Ooooooookay! I’m going downhill here. Stick with the sunset!

* And finally… You RIPPED into this world all alone. You will RIP all alone too. So take good care of yourself…. Because if you don’t do it, no one else will do it for you.

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger


PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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First day of High School

I was here listening to music, thinking, and absorbing the fact that today was my son's first day of High School. I'm sure it may sound silly for some ... , but it’s a big deal to me… It made me think about life, and how fast it goes… Without further bull… Here’s my song for the day:

Hand In My Pocket

(Alanis Morissette)

I'm broke but I'm happy

I'm poor but I'm kind

I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah

I'm high but I'm grounded

I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed

I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby

What it all comes down to

Is that everything's gonna be fine,fine, fine

'cause I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober

I'm young and I'm underpaid

I'm tired but I'm working, yeah

I care but I'm restless

I'm here but I'm really gone

I'm wrong and I'm sorry, baby

What it all comes down to

Is that everything's gonna be quite alright

'cause I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is flicking a cigarette

And what it all comes down to

Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet

'cause I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused

I'm green but I'm wise

I'm hard but I'm friendly baby

I'm sad but I'm laughing

I'm brave but I'm chickenshit

I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to

Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet'cause

I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is playing the piano

And what it all comes down to my friends

Is that everything's just fine fine fine

'cause I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger



PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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Life really boils down to 2 questions...

1. Should I get a dog....? OR...

2. Should I have children?

That’s entirely your decision. No matter what situations life throws at you... No matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem… Remember! There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

There’s always a reasonable solution!

Cats are so dramatic!!!

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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None of that Sissy Crap...

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this post. Just the stone cold truth of great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" You may ask... Because you are my friend! Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth.

Cheers,

Cranky Blogger

A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying... "Damn, that was fun!"

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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"The Chic Patrol" - Friendship is everything!!!

This post is very dear to me… It depicts a very special exclusive club that I have the privilege to belong to, called, “The Chic Patrol.” Do you have a friend or two that means so much to you that breaks all the rules of "blood is thicker than water?” If you do, congratulations! You are lucky! Although I know that family is fundamental, and incredibly important, I learned that some people can become your family without carrying over some of those crazy genes that you can’t get rid of, because basically you are stuck with it. Why are you looking at me like that? Yeah, you know… You love your family, but you didn’t choose them… They are great! Wonderful!!! But you remember when you were pregnant, right? Praying here and there so your kid wouldn’t inherit uncle Bob’s screwed up genes. Anyway… Jokes aside. What I’m saying is, these friends are basically family to me, and I’m so proud and lucky to have found them in a world full of lunatics, that my life wouldn’t be the same if I hadn’t. I love them dearly, and I would do anything I could to protect them from being hurt, or help them finish that pitcher of... ice tea crying out for help. Lol! That’s what friends are for, right? Why ‘Chic Patrol?’ Well… This whole thing started when I bought my van. We thought to ourselves, “Great, now we can pack the whole gang and cruise the town." So we did. We laughed. We cried. We fought. We had each other’s back. We listened to jazz, blues. We sang. We supported each other when the other one was in distress (and we still do). The van became this sort of crazy mobile patrolling the town for fun. So here’s to you girls. You know how much I love my family and how sick you are from hearing about how much I miss them… Guess what? You are my family too! The ones with no blood attached, but the ones by choice, by real life experiences, history, growth, and real sisterhood… I hope this corny post embarrasses the heck out of you just like I always do when I get emotional… Hehehehehe! Just, remember… I’m always here for you! :) Now get off the computer and get your butt back to work… Let’s rock the boat this weekend! The school is almost back in session and Monday we’ll all be back to the old grind again. Luv ya!

Cheers,

Cranky Blogger

Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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Is Chicago the home of tall men? Where are the tall men of Miami?

One of my best friends and I were enjoying a nice lunch at a local restaurant when between a bite of lobster and a glass of wine we noticed a real good looking man in a booth near us. “So according to palaeontologists, the dimensions of the region between the mouth and the eyebrows are crucial in determining how attractive a man's face appears to the opposite sex, and blah, blah, blah.” Whatever the research says, looking at this guy’s face, I remember thinking that he had the perfect well defined masculine features, perfectly groomed short hair cut, and he looked clean. My friend was enthralled with his upper body, his arms, and chest size, which, I may add, looked darned good. Yeah, yeah! What’s with the prude face? Just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu. Don’t tell me you never looked. Suuuuuure you haven’t! By the way, do you think men are nasty when they get together and talk about women? ROFLMAO!!! Keep believing that! When it comes to the other way around, there are some advertisements better kept off air. Anyway… While the lunch was entertaining, suddenly, our attractive seafood eater decides to get up to probably pay a visit to the men’s room, when, to our surprise, my friend and I looked at each other and said, “Whoa!!! Where's the other half of him?” That’s when the whole Northern, Chicago conversation surfaced again and I decided to write this post to pay tribute to my beloved blabbermouth Oak Park, SFAM friend.

So the guy was 5’ 2” tall. So you’re making out with him and he needs a stool to reach your… eyes. It’s true that different cultures have different statures, and we all know that Miami is a melting pot. Needless to say, for the rest of the lunch I had to hear how men from Chicago are so much taller, and so much more personable, and so much more of this, and so much more of that. If you are a little lost, let me just clarify that my friend is from Oak Park, Illinois, and she always tells me that men in Chicago have loads of personality, are gentlemen, fun, sexy, and tall. Although she forgot to mention about their financial status, let’s just wrongly assume that if you’re personable, a gentlemen, fun, sexy, and tall, you are most likely to have, or be on the way to own a hefty bank account. No, I’m not a gold digger! I’m realist. Money talks, and I think you know the rest of the rhyme. So, while we plan a visit to Riverside, I was trying to remember if I ever met anyone from Chicago that would meet that criterion. Then it dawned on me that she might have a point. I had a college professor from Chicago. He is tall, charismatic, has loads of personality, and very well spoken. We met some kid working at the customer service of a crabby store and he had personality up the “ying yang.” Guess what was the next question? “You are from Chicago, aren’t you?” So, although I’m still puzzled as to why she’s lived in Miami for 27 years, and married a Miami boy, she garantees that we're all living on the wrong neck of the woods… So this winter, I’m packing my bags to see what’s the hype all about. Chicago, here I come!

Cheers,

Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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The Bitter Broads Of Cranky County

What’s the reality behind reality TV? I was wondering why in the world they have shows like “The Real Housewives” portraying a whole bunch of histrionic, narcissistic, paranoid, obsessive compulsive, and physically enhanced rich bimbos. What’s real about that? Seriously!!! This conversation actually came up in a wine session with a good friend of mine the other day while flipping through channels and stumbling on this ridiculous show. We thought to ourselves, “what a load of crap!” Don’t get me wrong, I suppose it’s great to be rich, spend money like a frivolous “biatch,” and pump up your breasts now and then so it looks like a balloon ready to pop (news flash – it looks fake as fake can be), but let’s face it, most of us do not live in a 3 million dollar home, spend 2 thousand dollars on a dress or two, act completely unstable, and worry about the stupidest things. I feel a lot more represented watching Susan Mayer from Desperate Housewives.

Here’s an idea for the network producing this show, or any other network. Why not follow the REAL housewives around. Find a group of women in every major city, living in the average rental home, or struggling to avoid foreclosure. Show them juggling money from cash advances, banks, and loans from family members and friends so they can put gas in the car to go to work, feed their children, or buy school supplies. Roll those cameras around when they are running through garage sales and thrift stores to try to get that bargain deal on clothes and shoes, or when they are clipping those coupons that will save the extra few dollars that her child needs for that field trip. Now this is real, and in fact very educational. Of course you can’t miss the real friendships, the love within the family, the real laughs, and also the real cries when it’s unknown if the electricity will still be connected tomorrow. And the list goes on, and on… Now that is reality!

Now, that same network should sign in a short term contract with the “really” real housewives so they can actually better themselves and enlighten the viewers with the great deal of creativity it takes to be a real SAHM, or WAHM. In turn, the network would actually have a shot of reality TV, rather than promoting and making the rich even richer, and showing a complete moronic and unrealistic life of the "really" real housewives out there... Problem is, a show like that would be too much reality, and not enough ratings. Oh, well! Bummer! There’s not enough wine in the world to put up with that show. Garbage! We changed the channel!

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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Leave Gisele Bundchen Alone...

I’ve been reading a crap load of insane attacks on Gisele Bundchen because of her comments on the Vanity Fair, May issue, regarding her husband's son:

" I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it's not like because somebody else delivered him, that's not my child. I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that's important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine."

Well, let’s see how it feels… It’s amazing how some people can be so racist and culturally uneducated. It’s amazing how they can dwell on pettiness, and pick up the stupidest things to vent their ignorance and fear of the unknown. As far as calling her names such as “crazy ass foreigner,” one could argue that everyone here is a foreigner, unless you are a Native American that survived the genocide. But since most Americans have a very short memory of where they really came from, let’s just leave it at that. As many of you intelligently mentioned, English is not her first language. So between Portuguese, English, and other languages that I’m sure she speaks, the meaning of what she’s trying to convey gets twisted around. But I don’t expect these cynics to understand that, since most of these ignorant comments come from people that only speak one language. Some of them, barely. They’ve never tried to speak a foreign language and expect the rest of the planet to speak fluent English. The girl is down-to-earth, real, and spontaneous. She comes from a supportive, very well grounded family, where mom and dad are still married, and she understands the true value of close family ties. All that she was trying to say was that she cares for the child like he was her own. What’s wrong with that? I suppose the rule of thumb would be hatred and dislike, so when people see otherwise, they freak out. I personally think the guy is lucky to have her. I think she could have done it a lot better all the way around. It seems like she entered a marriage in good faith, taking along all the extra baggage. Isn't that the expression? She didn’t need to do that, as she has her own money and career. It could only be love. They say that love is blind, and this is proof positive. Let her be! She is a beautiful person, in and out, and I can only hope that she won’t be disappointed or embittered by cultural clashes, and the different values that most likely she will encounter in the future.

Give a rest people! She just meant that she cares for the child… That’s that simple! And by the way, let’s get a little bit more creative, shall we? Try to get another line other than “get back to your country” to offend her or anybody that wasn’t born in the US. That’s overrated and pretty dumb, considering the fact that most likely your ancestors crawled from a foreign rock. Nobody is going anywhere, buster! Just like your gramps didn’t. Give your doctor a ring and pick up some amnesia pills.

Whishing you the best of luck Gisele.

Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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Say it like you feel…

Here I am, my own little Café. What’s to say on the inauguration? So I've seen plenty of sites out there focused on relaxation, stress relief, and other strategies to get you out of a funk. Don’t get me wrong; they are great, and very helpful. However, sometimes we all need to express our frustrations and loosen the restraints of censorship a bit (in a safe mode, of course). Not everyday is a perfect day and being able to express how it makes us feel without a load of restraints is a great stress reliever. No, I’m not cranky all the time… Face it! Nothing bad lasts forever, but nothing good lasts forever either. But I think we’ve been taught to keep it all on the down low, to suppress bad feelings and pretend that everything is hunky-dory. So you’re forty and still haven’t found what you were looking for; so you made the wrong career choice; you’re dead broke, have a few regrets, or cheated on your diet… Whatever it is, it’s not the end of the world; the sun will still come up, and no, we don’t have to have it all figured out all the time. Yet, nobody talks about this because society is, most of the time, superficial, shallow, & filled with a whole bunch of people trying hard to keep up with the Joneses. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” I say it like it is! There… I said it! So what’s the weather forecast for today? I really don’t know. Whatever it is, I’ll deal with it. But it’s looking sunny outside and I have to get going. A new day full of experiences awaits me. In case somebody shows up, have a good one. Carpe diem!

Cheers,

Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

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