Welcome To Cranky Bloggers

Grab your reading glasses & some Irish coffee and come on in! There's always another "biatching" session about to start...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The love story of Ralph and Edna...

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.' Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?


Cheers,
Cranky Blogger

PS: Is there anything making you cranky today? Speak up! The floor is yours!

Posted by Cranky Bloggers at 7:12 AM

0 comments:

Post a Comment

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
Blog Widget by LinkWithin

♠ ♠ Cranky's Videos ♠ ♠

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in an attractive, well-preserved body, but rather to skid sideways, champage in one hand, strawberries in the other, screaming, "WOOHOOOO!" What a ride!!!

Arraial do Cabo... Cabo Frio... It's not a place. It's a feeling!!!

Cranky Bloggers’ Acronyms Guide

BF = “Biatch” fit
DW2DWU = Don't want to deal with you
EM = Emotional moment
FO = F&%#$ off
HWD = Human warmth depravation
NAT = Not all there
PE = Physically enhanced
ROFLMAO = Rolling on floor, laughing my a$$ off
SAHM = Stay at home mom
SFAM = Sistah from another mistah (aka best friend)
SOB = Son of a “biatch”
SPOY = So proud of you
TNH = The Nut Hall
WAHM = Work at home mom
WAY = Who asked you?
WTF = (You all know that one)

+++ coming soon at a terminal near you!

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” Bob Marley

You know you’re screwed when…

If you've had a pulse long enough, I'm sure you've been screwed one time or another. So go ahead and send in your contribution. Maybe you can save someone else from being jipped. Can you complete this sentence: "You know you're screwed when..."

1 - ... you spent thousands of dollars on college education and you can't get a job. (Michaela - Florida)

2 - ... your water just got disconnected an hour ago, and the FPL guy is knocking on your door. (Angelo - Florida)

3 - ...you married a guy without checking the merchandise and discovered that Mr. Stiff is more like Mr. Soft Pinky. (ML - Brazil)

Eletric shock prank. Find out how tough your friend really is...

Hello! Welcome to the mental health hotline.

* If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
*If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
*If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
* If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
* If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
* If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
* If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
* If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
* If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
* If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
* If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
* If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
* If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
Powered By Blogger

  © Blogger template PingooIgloo by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP